A rat is a rat is a rat...

Are rats and squirrels so different?

We tend to think of rats as vile, germ-ridden pests--oh, the horror, were we to find one in our home! They skulk around dumpsters, eat garbage, make a home in the sewers.

Squirrels get a better rap. They nest in trees, frequent parks and tree-lined streets. Sure, sometimes they dig up the seeds we've planted, or eat the food we've put out for the birds, and on occasion, you do hear about squirrels in the walls. Annoying, nothing more, right?

But if you honestly look at a squirrel, they're just as tiny-mammal-creepy as rats, with their busy-monkey claws and twitchy tails. In Hyde Park, they hover in the trees and shout at passersby. I'm convinced that one of these days, a rabid squirrel is going to jump on someone's shoulder and tear out the jugular with its cartoon teeth.

I had a friend in Pakistan who hated birds. Found them absolutely repulsive. Pigeons were always roosting on her window sills, on top of air conditioners, under the eaves. She used to leave empty eggshells on the ledges, to keep them away, which apparently didn't work. She said that pigeons were just rats with wings.

Well, squirrels are the rats of Vermont, I'd say. My parents are always capturing them in have-a-heart traps, and transporting them miles away, across rivers and brooks, and letting them go, to become someone else's problem. They felt pretty good about this solution until one day, they pulled into their driveway only to discover a women leaning out of her station wagon 10 yards up the road, releasing a whole family of squirrels from her own have-a-heart trap.

So what's my point? I think the only thing to do is reconcile ourselves to rats. If we can do that, we can probably handle squirrels and pigeons and anything else we choose to describe as "rat-like." And according to a clerk at Petsmart, rats make great pets. They eat what you eat. They're smart. Who knew?